Managing Personal Life Changes
Change is part of the natural progression of life; sometimes, however, continuing changes in the life cycle can cause emotional stress. Major changes in the lifestyle - such as the birth of a baby, a new job, retirement, moving - or dealing with losses as in the breakup of a marriage or death of a loved one - can impose emotional strains. It is not unusual to feel overwhelmed by the demands such circumstances impose.
Overcoming Emotional Problems
Everyone experiences feelings of anxiety, stress, anger, depression and sadness at certain times. Mood changes and minor emotional disturbances are part of living. When unhealthy feelings persist and intensify, however, they affect normal behavior and activity. Roadblocks are erected and reduce the opportunities for happy and productive living. Emotional problems like physical problems, have causes and require professional attention, care and treatment. The first step is to recognize that a problem exists and then to get appropriate help quickly. At the Hudson Center, counselors are trained to enable you to recognize and deal with emotional problems - on a confidential basis. Often they can prevent a problem area from escalating into the kind of crisis which would require extended treatment.
Improving Relationships
In our rapidly changing society, relationships, especially family relationships are under a great deal of pressure. Often problems in personal relationships - at home or at work - stem from broken-down communications. At The Hudson Center, our counselors are skilled at listening, mediating problems and helping people get along better.
Some problems between husbands and wives, and parents and children, are to be expected. When family difficulties result, however, in hurtful and damaging conflicts, the problems need to be addressed to prevent further deterioration in everyday living.
Physical & Psychological Abuse and Its Repercussions
When we ourselves, or others in our family have a problem with substance abuse, our initial
Other forms of abuse, such as physical abuse, sexual abuse and neglect, can also create havoc for individuals and families. At times these abusive situations are related to substance abuse, but they can be independent problems as well. The Hudson Center counselors are experienced in helping victims understand and overcome the effects of these problems.
Self-Esteem
"Hey; Mike! You always tell us about everybody else but you never say what you’ve been up to."
To my cheerful readers who have verbalized the sentiment listed above, I gladly offer the following:
With luck, this magazine's editor was able to scan a photo I provided. It was shot in late June 2005, at Six Flags Great Adventure: In fact; my school year ended on a Friday and this pic was taken the following Monday. Yes, that's Yours Truly in the excellent company of my college theatre gal pal, DEBBIE VIZVARRY. I'm a member of American Coaster Enthusiasts (ACE) and Debs is a frequent (and hysterically funny) ride partner. We both hope to maintain the stomach to be "riding coasters" well into our senior citizen years. And when we become too old for an “exhilarating out-of-your-seat ride," we already imagine ourselves sauntering around America’s great amusement parks fashioning whirling beanies on our dome. May dear Debs simply delights in (as only true friends can) reminding me that I’ll hit those senior years (just) before she does!
The basis of how we will feel about ourselves as adults is found in child- hood experiences. As children most of our ideas about who we are (our self- concept), ~ well as how we feel about it'(self-esteem), comes from adults around us. Until adolescence, our identity is an extension of our parents. Our ideas about who we are come from Who they are, We like and respect our- selves only as much as our parents do.
When parents treat us with love and affection, we see ourselves as lovable; when they're cold and uncaring, we believe we're unlovable and worthless. If told early enough and often enough that we're stupid, worthless or unlovable, we come tobelieve it; we develop low self-esteem and have few expectations for happiness and fulfillment in life.
School also plays an important role in shaping children’s self-esteem. When teachers are impatient or critical, children may come to think of themselves as stupid and stop studying because “it doesn’t do any good anyway.” On the other hand, when children are told they are smart and competent, their self-esteem increases and their performance improves.
Over time, we internalize these opinions of ourselves and begin to treat them as facts. Even when our parents and teachers are no longer wit us everyday, their voices live in our heads, sounding like our own as repeat to ourselves what we heard so often from them. As adults, we treat our feelings the same way that others treated us as children and think as much – or as little – of ourselves as they thought of us.
Guidelines for boosting Self-Esteem
- Keep learning: learn something new every day
- Choose friends carefully: remember "safe, supportive and accepting" .Build skills: do something everyday that you do well
- Change yourself: be open to opportunities to grow
- Never give up: the only thing that stands between mediocrity and excellence is that little voice that says "I can do it!"
- Positive self-talk: write and use affirmations that focus on positive energy. Go for it take risk!
- Keep your perspective: mistakes are not catastrophes
- Be realistic: set goals that are challenging but ac4ievable
- Get fit: do regular aerobic and weight-bearing exercise .Look good, feel good
Steps to SELF-ESTEEM
How is self-esteem built? Some of the basic building blocks of self-esteem are:
Individuality: Appreciation of the special combination of traits, talents and foibles that makes you unique is essential to good self-esteem. Without a clear sense of individuality, you become a chameleon, taking on the identity of those around you.
Integrity: Self esteem comes in part from living according to your values. People who compromise their values in order to gain wealth, status or power inevitably do so at the cost of their self-esteem.
Connection: We like ourselves more when we feel a part of a group of people whom we love and admire. Their support and acceptance bolsters-self- esteem when disappointment, failure or rejection pulls it down.
Personal power. Too often, power is defined as having authority over others, but it can also mean ability to make things happen and confidence in the ability to create your destiny.
Risk-taking: People with high self- esteem have the self-confidence to take risks, despite the possibility of failure. Since their self-esteem does not depend on success or failure of any one venture, they expect to learn from risk-taking, regardless of the outcome.
Achievement: Accomplishing your goals, no matter how small, makes you a winner, bringing pride of achievement that increases self-esteem.
Self-respect: Belief in your right to be treated fairly and courteously is the cornerstone of self-esteem. Without it, you’ll treat yourself badly and let others do the same.
Self-talk: An internal monologue that is encouraging, supportive and praising builds self-esteem; self-criticism, discounting accomplishments, and gloomy predictions for the future tear it down.
Some people confuse self-esteem with arrogance, and become self-effacing to avoid appearing conceited. But arrogance is not a reflection of self-esteem; in fact, it generally indicates just the opposite. Arrogant people inflate their egos by exaggerating their accomplishments, while belittling the talents of others. People with good self-esteem acknowledge other's talents and accomplishments, as well as their own.
Additional Information can be obtained by contacting The Hudson Center. David Holstein is the President and Executive Director. 845 534-2926.
E-mail us: info@thehudsoncenter.com
276 Hudson Street, Cornwall on Hudson, NY 12520
