Dear Friends,

The information below describes Mediation, an alternative approach to dispute resolution now offered by The Hudson Center.
     All parties in a dispute will benefit from working out a solution. The goal of mediation is to arrive at a solution that all parties can live with and in which they can feel confident. Mediation is based on problem solving, not on finding fault or who is right or wrong.
     Mediated resolutions improve communication and understanding, redirect or resolve anger, and help achieve a commitment to the mutually desired resolution. Mediation arrives at a solution more swiftly and at significantly lower cost. It is a well known fact that mediated solutions are much less expensive than those arrived at through the adversarial system.
     Mediation can be used to resolve virtually any contention resulting from divorce and separation settlements, personal injury, business, employment, and real estate related disputes. It is a process of positive bargaining versus "fighting it out." By definition it's a surprise-free dispute process, unlike similar procedures handled solely by the court system.
     With regard to divorce and separation, mediation is a better, more humane approach than the adversarial system. The couple, with the help of a skilled, impartial mediator, negotiate directly with each other to formulate their agreement, which may include all aspects of a divorce and separation: child support, custody, visitation, spousal maintenance, and division of property.
     If you have a problem that needs a mediated solution, call us for a low-cost consultation.

   Sincerely,
   Renay Bevins
   David Holstein

Through the mediation process, we can help find the answers that are right for you - even in a difficult divorce situation.

Division of Assets. How to fairly divide jointly held assets and marital property, such as real estate, stocks, automobiles, or household items... how to divide responsibilities for marital debts, loans, mortgages, and credit cards.

Child Custody and Visitation. How to decide who will have physical custody - how important decisions will be reached - how the children will spend time with each parent.

Child Support. How to agree on how much one parent will pay the other to help cover the cost of caring for the children.

Spousal Maintenance. Deciding whether one spouse will assist the other in paying expenses, and for how long.

If you are about to enter into a separation/divorce process, a specially trained Hudson Center mediator can help you reach an agreement and deal with the many aspects of terminating a relationship - both emotional and legal.
The benefits of mediation include mutually agreed to solutions, properly documented and submitted to the courts.

Whether it's a family conflict or a business dispute...
mediation is often the best, and the most fair, way to solve the problem.

Family Conflicts. All families, at some time, have problems that may seem insurmountable, and they may be at a loss, with nowhere to turn for help.  Mediation is an outstanding method for resolving problems between siblings, conflicts between parent and child, inter-generational disputes, including probate process and child/school related issues.

Business Disputes. Also amenable to resolution through mediation are problems related to every day business matters, such as contract and/or construction disputes, customer complaints, board of director/operating executive and employee/employer grievances.
Sometimes problems occur in family owned businesses that have all of the dynamics and complexities of business and family combined.  Mediated solutions by independent third parties can arrive at solutions swiftly and usually at a significantly reduced cost.

David Holstein, MA, NCC, is the Director of The Hudson Center, which he founded in 1988.

Now a board certified Mental Health Counselor with an advanced degree in psychology, Mr. Holstein was formerly an executive with IBM for a total of thirty years. This position included resolving internal business issues and disputes and employee grievances as an independent evaluator and mediator. He is a member of the Family & Divorce Mediation Council of Greater New York and the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts.

Mr. Holstein is the author of three college text books as well as more than twenty professional articles. He currently serves as a professor at Long Island University at West Point, USMA, teaching in the Masters Program for Leadership Development & Counseling.

Mr. Holstein is married and has three children and two grandchildren.

Renay L. Bevins, MSW, CSW-R, is a N.Y.S. Certified Social Worker with six years of post-masters experience as a private psychotherapist. She is a graduate of SUNY Albany and Adelphi University. Her extensive work with individuals and families focuses on the welfare and rights of children.

Mrs. Bevins has received advanced training in divorce mediation through Columbia University, Center for Family and Divorce Mediation. She is currently a member of the Association of Family & Conciliation Courts, Academy of Family Mediators, a special committee member of the New York State Bar Association, Family and Divorce Mediation Council of Greater New York and the Step Family Foundation.

Mrs. Bevins presents a warm, yet direct, solution oriented approach to mediation. She is married and has two children and two step children.

Answers to some frequently asked questions:

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A New Approach to Divorce and Separation;
by David Holstein, MA, NCC and Renay Bevins, MSW, CSW-R

Divorce occurs in approximately one out of every two marriages in this country, and affects almost everyone: In-one way or another. Divorce is usually an adversarial process and is obtained with the services of an attorney. Couples who choose this path will tell you this approach does not usually promote communication or problem solving. An alternative approach to resolving the issues of divorce and separation is mediation and dispute resolution.

You may ask yourself, "How can divorcing couples mediate or resolve anything?" Mediation is based on problem solving, not finding out who is right or wrong or which person is at fault. The main goal is to resolve the issues associated with the divorce and improve communication between the parties, which is especially important if there are children involved.

Children of divorce often feel responsible for their parents' break-up. A natural instinct for them is to attempt to become the "peacemaker" and try to bring harmony back to the family. You can imagine the blame the child feels when this approach fails. Children also find themselves used as pawns in the parental tirade. Each parent looks for the child to side with him or her. The fear of not being cared for or abandoned; the illusion that the child has some responsibility for keeping the family together; the grief for the loss of an absent parent; or the loss of. familiar ways and life-style, all take their toll.

Divorce can be very expensive. Costs can be significantly lowered with mediation. Solutions are arrived at more swiftly in a surprise-free dispute process, unlike the adversarial ones handled by our courts. A couple will know what to expect from one another and more importantly, the children will know that their rights and expectations are being met fairly and With the consent of both parents. The couple Will have determined a strategy that Will help them decide future issues involving the children, so that life can go on as smoothly as possible for all concerned, and With mutual support. Through mediation, couples can reach a consensus on major decisions, such as child custody, support, visitation, division of assets and liabilities, and spousal maintenance.

34 It's a Wonderful Town JUNE 2005

Mediation can provide an atmosphere in which solutions to these critical issues can be resolved. This process can improve communications and understanding as well as mitigate anger. The goal of mediation is for couples to arrive at a solution that both can live with, providing some level of confidence for both their futures, as well as that of the children.

For more information, call the Hudson Center

845-534-2926